THE WEB ADDICTION SONG
(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")
Doorbell rings, I'm not listnen'
From my mouth, drool is glistnin'
I'm happy although
my boss let me go
Happily addicted to the Web!

All night long, I sit clicking
Unaware time is ticking
There's a beard on my cheek
Same clothes for a week
Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by, they shake me saying "Yo man!"
"Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
With a listless shrug I mutter "No man
I just discovered laugh-a-lot dot com."

I don't phone, don't send faxes.
Don't go out, don't pay taxes.
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
Happily addicted to the Web!

*a girls first time*
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)

It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten.

You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him -
he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.

You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.

He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.

Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.

He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.

He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist.

After all,it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinkin' ? PERVERT

I know what you were thinking!

One Question from a Girl
Girl: Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boy: Dead sure!
I checked the whole list again yesterday.
   
The Sun or the Moon?
Teacher: Which is more important, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: The moon.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it, but the sun shines in the day time when we don't need it.
   
A Teacher
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: Teacher.
   
A Family Tradition
Teacher: Sam, you talk too much.
Sam: It's a family tradition.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Sam: Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher: What about your mother?
Sam: She's a woman.
   
A Prayer
Priest: Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
   
100%
Patient: What're the chances of my recovering, doctor
Doctor:
100%. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the 10th case I've treated. The others all died.
   
Photo
Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office, why?
Wife:
When there's a problem, no matter how impossible, I'll say to myself "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
   
Being Nice
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But Mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
   
Golfing
Wife: What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
Hubby: Golfing with friends, honey.
Wife: What? Golfing at 2:00 a.m.?
Hubby: Yes, my dear...we used night clubs.
   
Report Card
Father: Sam, let me see your report card.
Sam: Dad, my friend borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
   
Ant
Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He's busy all the time, works all day and everyday. Then what happens?
Sam: He gets stepped on.
   
Would you wear?
BF: would you wear a ring if you don't have any fingers?
GF: no
BF: would you wear a necklace if you don't have a neck?
GF: of course not!
BF: then how come you're wearing a bra?
   
A new car
Question: What time is it, when an elefant is sitting on your car?
Answer: It's time for a new car...
   
Copyright
Some of the Jokes was a forward Email from a friend and from the Internet. If there's any problem because of the Copyright, please send me an email and I delete it as quickly as I can.
 
Source:
Forward Email from a Friend
Internet